Get Cynnspired!
Why conform to the idea that you MUST be liked, so you MUST be a certain way? What a feeling it would be to relinquish that thought and live comfortably in your own skin with your own unique beliefs, thoughts, likes, dislikes and desires- not giving a fuck what anyone else thinks. Scared because you don’t want to be alienated? Nah, stop with your self limiting beliefs. You’re failing to see that worrying about everyone else is 100% holding you back. Those are facts. The truth is if you love yourself and be true to YOU, you will thrive. You will glow up, and you will succeed at life because you focused on YOU. Don’t worry if you lose people along the way. Turns out they weren’t your tribe anyway.
All the honey. ~Cynn
Don’t undervalue yourself. Don’t for a second think that you aren’t worth being treated with respect. Even during misunderstandings and disagreements- if you have someone or multiple people in your life who use those misunderstandings and disagreements to attack you, degrade you, hurt you or belittle you and think any of that is ok, they’re done. Nix them out of your life. It doesn’t matter what the “story” is. Even during heightened situations you can talk respectfully while also LISTENING and engaging in conversation. You can listen to understand and gain knowledge over the other person’s actions. If you’re surrounding yourself with salt of the earth people then you know their actions would never be to hurt you and chances are they aren’t feeding you a line of bullshit for their choices. There is no need for attacking and being hurtful, and honestly you look like fucking uneducated idiots doing so. Don’t be that. Harsh? Yup. Truth? Also yup. You 👏 are 👏 worth 👏 more 👏 than 👏 the 👏 bullshit 👏 you 👏 allow 👏 in 👏 your 👏 life. You know the saying “there are plenty of fish in the sea”? That applies to friendships too. Go find better ones. Ones that raise you up. White lights. Warmth. Peace. Comfort. Love.
All the honey. ~Cynn
Abusers aren’t abusive all the time either, and we make excuses for them and find ways to tell ourselves they aren’t abusive, they aren’t monsters, this is different. FUCK THAT! And guess what? Women are abusive too! They will break you down like a caged elephant just as well as a man does. You think I don’t know how smart and manipulative women are? The female species can win a Grammy.
Stockholm syndrome/Helsinki syndrome- How many of you know what this is? Shortened it means being sympathetic towards your captor and unsympathetic towards authorities..... Now let’s step into our own personal lives. If you follow me, chances are pretty high that you’ve experienced significant pain in your life. Funneling this even further, many of us have experienced abuse. And I can tell you one of MY biggest faults. I sympathized with my abusers. I felt bad for them! When they hurt, I wanted to fix it. I was so used to getting treated like shit that I didn’t understand just how wrong it was. I didn’t see my own worth. I ignored what they were doing to me and felt empathy for them when they felt pain. How fucked up is that?! Actually, not very. It’s common. And SO wrong. Narcissists, abusers, and anyone who has intentionally caused you pain have learned how you operate. They are fully aware of what they are doing and they feel NOTHING. They want their OWN needs met at all times. They are good at what they do and can keep you under their thumb even when you are no longer with them if you don’t understand and see the signs. They will call YOU crazy, abusive, selfish, worthless etc. They will tell you no one will ever love you. They will tell you they are the best thing you will ever have because you’re so worthless. They have to make you feel powerless or they know they’re fucked because they are fully aware of how shitty they are. This is where working on yourself matters so incredibly much. Focus on YOU- your worth, your value, all the things that make you beautifully unique. Loving yourself will help you to naturally curb the negative behaviors and see things differently. And LISTEN to the ones who show you healthy love. They know a thing or two.
All the honey. ~Cynn
Love yourself unconditionally. Stop worrying about other people understanding you. Be a warrior and rise above your self limiting beliefs. Elevate beyond your hurt and let your pain be your empowerment. Let go of who and what no longer serves you and transcend beyond what’s happened. You’re done surviving. It’s time to thrive. Don’t surround yourself with assholes and people who don’t feed your soul... it will encourage self-sabotaging thoughts. Start loving your awkwardness, your weirdness, your vulnerability, your flaws. Breathless and bold. Be the light. A light so strong that everyone feels your warmth. Let your intelligence overpower your emotions. Jump without those wings and be stronger than your fear. Be mismatched and mischievous. Take the chance, be untethered. The world keeps spinning with or without you, so why not make the next trip around the sun about you and loving YOURSELF. “You are complex, wonderful and something brilliant that a mirror simply does not have the capability to show.” Start realizing your worth. YOU are your biggest commitment. Be brazen and boundless. Blaze through your life like a gypsy wildfire.....
All the honey. ~Cynn
Being self-aware is crucial to a healthy living. Its diagnosing yourself. Your actions. Your choices. It’s knowing what you have to do for YOU in order to maximize positives in your life. It’s stepping away to take a breather. It’s thinking through something that is upsetting you. It’s being able to remove yourself from situations that make you uncomfortable. It’s making the choice to not do something if you know it’s not for the greater benefit of your own good. It’s continuing to discover who you are. Being self aware is being confident. It’s not needing the approval of others. It’s strength within yourself. It’s realizing something that irritates you about others can lead you to an understanding of yourself. Self-awareness is deciding you are more interested in being aware of your thoughts than you are in the thoughts themselves. You are the only one responsible for creating your reality. When you know yourself, you are empowered.
All the honey. ~Cynn
People should understand and value the sincerity of your independence and personal choice to surround yourself with positivity. If they can’t respect that, then they should sit the f*ck down so you can see what’s ahead of you better. This goes for family, friends, relationships, acquaintances, etc.. So often people are upset for selfish reasons instead of being happy for your happiness. They should educate themselves on your choices, and if your desire for happiness and positivity still doesn’t sit well with their judgy ways, then they should exit themselves with the knowledge that was provided. It is YOUR life, not theirs. Don’t be afraid to remove yourself from anyone and anything that doesn’t suit your growth and happiness. You are in charge of it all, and damn it you deserve all the feel goods and nothing less!
All the honey. ~Cynn
How many of your days have been ruined because you worry yourself sick over something you don’t know the outcome over? Something you can’t control? I have fallen to this my entire life. You have to make the conscious effort to divert your thinking. To be thankful for the things in the present moment. Some of the self talk that I do is “I’ve made it through everything, and I will continue to make it through everything. I am strong. I am capable. I take action”. In trying situations I also say “is this going to kill me? Is this the end of the world?” And the answer is always no. So I move forward. Courage is when you know something is less than desirable, but you push through anyway. The end result of courage usually always equals being proud of yourself and the realization of just what you’re capable of. I have learned over the years that my efforts are always rewarded in some way... Especially if you choose to see life in color rather than black and white. Be thankful for what you have. Find all the positives. Acknowledge them. Know that you will make it through the situations that arise. You just have to have a lot of PMA! Positive Mental Attitude. That is seriously the ‘make it or break it’. Plain and simple. You can do anything with PMA.
All the honey. ~Cynn
That’s right! Communication is so HOT- Honest, Open, & Two-way (Dan Oswald). Seems so simple, but factors including fear prevents solid communication. A lack of communication breeds assumptions and assumptions are most often incorrect. Josh and I have never had an argument. Why? Because we are heavy communicators. Though we’ve never been upset with each other, we’ve had our misunderstandings, but we talked through it until we better understood each other. If you are fearful of how the other person will respond, then you are either involving yourself with someone you shouldn’t, or you need to find the tools to not let fear guide your decisions. With that said, it is ALSO in how you articulate and convey your side of communication. Be honest but don’t be mean. Be emotionally aware so you can properly convey your thoughts and feelings. Be compassionate and empathetic towards the other person so you can understand where they are coming from as well. People worry that they aren’t feeling heard, so they have no desire to hear what the other person is saying, and they are more consumed with how they are going to continue to get their point across even more. The ability to listen is as important as the ability to speak. Listen with the intent to understand. Truly take in what the other is saying rather than thinking of how you’re going to reply. A true sign of your personal growth is when you choose to respond calmly even in the face of disagreement. People may hear what you say, but they FEEL your attitude. If you communicate skillfully, you can work miracles....
All the honey. ~Cynn
Healers are spiritual warriors who have found the courage to defeat the darkness of their souls. Awakening and rising from the depths of their deepest fears, like a Phoenix rising from the ashes. Reborn with a wisdom and strength that create a light that shines bright enough to help, encourage, and inspire others out of their own darkness." Rise and rise again. Acknowledge that things are not right at the moment. Find and focus on the solution, then RISE. You're human, not perfect. You've been hurt, but you're alive. Sometimes there is sadness in our journey, but we must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we hurt, for we will never know what is waiting for us just around the bend. Breathe in, breathe out. Let the fire scorch your skin and burn the soul, allowing yourself to absorb the pain and understand the sincerity of the pain. Breathe in, you are not the past, you are not the future; breathe out. You are simply each breath, the present moment. As you breathe in and breathe out, acknowledge all the trials you have overcome thus far, and that you can continue to overcome all else without doubt. Breathe in, breathe out. Without the fire, the Phoenix never rises from the ashes. THEY WILL NOT, SHALL NOT, AND CANNOT DESTROY YOU, for YOU, like Rome, were built on ashes, and YOU, like a PHOENIX know how to RESURRECT.
All the honey. ~Cynn
There truly are great people in this world and they really are, in fact, all around YOU as well! I’ve had so many people who are hurting and struggling tell me that this world is so full of cruel and negative people. I’m not exempt from having this same thought. BUT a lot of it is our perspective. Happy people maintain their happiness by choosing to see the good and using the good like fuel for their mind and body. The more we train our brains to see the positive, the more it naturally happens. Josh and I see the world as such an amazing place with so many amazing people! Our happiness and positivity also reciprocates. We have the ability to change our atmosphere! And the beautiful thing is that you have that same ability! A smile truly is contagious. If you are negative or surrounded by negative, that’s all you will see unless you break those chains and stop the cycle! Yes, there are truly terrible people out there and you need to be fully aware of that in order to protect yourself and your loved ones, but it’s your choice to let them have that power over you, or you take your power and control your thoughts! Our negative attitudes are causing us to ignore all the beautiful people in this world.... And those beautiful souls are plentiful and they are changing this world for the better. And if you’re reading my post, I’m willing to bet that you’re one of those beautiful people. So, chin up you magnificent creature! Your smile is perfect, your happiness is well deserved, and the light that you shine and reflect is contagious!
All the honey. ~Cynn
Lipstick post: So often we don’t live in the moment. We are constantly thinking ahead and stressing ourselves out because we strive for perfection. We worry about the dirt on our kitchen floor, the pet hair on the carpet, and all these THINGS. We don’t look at the blessings that are right in front of us in this moment. Is that a struggle for you? Then force it! Are you reading my post right now? That’s because you’ve been blessed with some kind of technology in order to do so. In your head say “I’m thankful for this blessing”. You woke up this morning... “I’m thankful for this blessing”. You put food in your belly? “I’m thankful for this blessing”. Once you get in the habit of recognizing your blessings, the more you see life in color and you naturally become happier. You know what else is a blessing? The dog hair on the carpet. You have a dog that’s thriving because of you. That loves you and is always happy to see you no matter what kind of day it is. You have a dog that loves you for YOU. That dirt on the kitchen ground is also a blessing... You’re alive and your thriving feet carried that dirt in. Because you had places to go and things to do. Blessings. Find them. Let life touch your toes.
All the honey. ~Cynn
What I post, what Josh posts, and what everyone posts is a tiny fraction of a life as a whole. Josh and I just had this discussion the other night. One thing I stated was “isn’t it crazy that you post your motivational quotes, and I post my lipstick posts and the reality is, they don’t know the stuff we go through either.” You don’t see moments like when I’m waking up in a panic in the middle of the night because I’m having nightmares due to my past and Josh is having to stay awake with me to talk me through it. You don’t see the times when I’m talking Josh through something on a day that’s less than ideal for him. Our life is great, and what you see is what you get. We are authentic every single day. We are true to you and to ourselves. But we are real, just like you. We are human. We have emotions. Just like you. So remember, a book cover is just a book cover. There’s so much more in the pages. Always be kind to those around you. It doesn’t take much to do, and you can ultimately make someone feel better by your kindness and even just a smile!
All the honey. ~Cynn
Facts! It truly doesn’t. What a crazy concept! Yet we are wired to feel like we need others acceptance in order to feel good about OURSELVES. I wanted so badly to fit in for sooooooo many years. But then a light bulb went off and I realized I am so much better off doing what I WANT in order to feed my own happiness! I am happy and confident in myself. I live by integrity. I live by my rules, so why should I matter if anyone accepts me? When I started doing me, I started to RISE! And I continue to RISE, and I continue to be uniquely me which only strengthens my self esteem! Call it cocky, call it pompous, call it what you may, but I am a beautiful person! I have a beautiful soul! My personality is amazing! I am thriving, I am funny, I am doing ME! And guess what you rising Phoenix......You are too!
All the honey. ~Cynn
Don’t ever think for a second that your happiness requires approval from ANYONE. It doesn’t matter what you do or how you choose to do it. If someone doesn’t agree with YOUR choices, that is THEIR selfish feelings talking. They only want you to understand THEIR feelings with little regard for yours. Remember, your tribe, if they aren’t quite understanding your reasoning for something, they will ASK you KINDLY for more information so they can better understand. They won’t pass judgment or choose to selfishly be angry or hurt towards your choices that you are entirely allowed to make. Your tribe are those that lift you up, show you your value & worth throughout your entire life. Those that love you endlessly and want to be a part of your radiating light. Those that dance in your glory. They aren’t the ones that only peak their nose in to tell you THEY are upset.
All the honey. ~Cynn
Have you ever felt like you just don’t belong? I’ve felt so different since I was a kid. I didn’t fit into any box. I thought I was broken. What I didn’t realize was that I actually broke free! Because I was the “outcast” I spent a lot of time on my own. What’s the beauty in that? No social conditioning! I’m uniquely, beautifully me! I created myself without any outside influence. I love being an oddball! I love my own way of thinking! Some will say I’m a misfit because I make their comfortable way of thinking, uncomfortable. But, me, THIS misfit.. I’m amazing! And you are too!
The way we look at ourselves can be utter bullshit. I grew up with a terrible self image. I remember at around 8yrs old being told by someone that I could never be a model. Something as silly as that stuck with me all these years. Then you add in the abuse and sexual abuse... It was a recipe for disaster. I hated the way I looked when I was “thinner” but then packed on the pounds in order to not be fucked with anymore. I just wanted to be left alone. But then I started having health issues. SO I put my fears aside and dropped 110lbs. Mind you I also have kids. If you want to see a case of stretch marks that mimic a road map of Chicago, I’ll show you. And guess what happened when I dropped 110lbs? Loose skin. ESPECIALLY in my stomach. Loose, wrinkly skin that looks like a deflated stretched balloon. And guess what I was told by an asshole in one of my abusive relationships? My body is disgusting and no one will ever love me. What little bit of self esteem I had just absolutely plummeted. I still struggle with it to this day. How could someone possibly love this body? I’m naturally built bigger, I can never be a size 0, I’ve lost A LOT of weight and it shows, bathing suits are my worst nightmare, cellulite in my late 30s is a thing and my stomach is a disaster. I could never understand the compliments I was getting from people. I would make excuses for them. Moral of the story is it doesn’t matter what we look like. WE ALL STRUGGLE. I’m learning to embrace my imperfections. I have absolutely no control over how my flesh suit was created, but I have control over how I view it. And guess what? Josh thinks I’m the most amazing thing to walk this earth. He’s seen me in the flesh. He loves my imperfections. He loves my legs that I say look like logs. He loves my scars and he loves my kids. He loves my thick thighs and my massively big rib cage. He loves my imperfect teeth that I’m extremely self conscious about. I’ve been in a mental Hell for the past 2 years. Ive lost my muscle and toner body because the gym hasn’t been convenient. But if @joshuacoburn can step in and love me for me, then I need to do the same.
It is such a freeing feeling when you finally understand this concept. We don’t need validation from others. We don’t need to be understood by others. You are uniquely beautiful and if you aren’t doing anything illegal or harmful then damn it live your fucking life and make whatever decisions you feel like without worry of being judged!! Amazing things happen when you cut those ropes and love YOURSELF! When you love yourself, very little bothers you, including what others have to say. With that said, you know what ya gotta do! RISE!!!!!
The habits you created to survive will no longer serve you. New habits new life! It’s time to thrive!! Get that honey!!
Perception IS your reality. Today you are CONQUERING. One step in front of the other. One positive thought after the next... You got this! And.... YOU RISE.
You’re not stuck. You can literally rise up from anything. You have choices. Learn something new. You’re worth it and you owe it to yourself. To that beautiful body and soul of yours. Put your nose to the grindstone and RISE.
NEVER tell yourself otherwise! The worst thing you can do is sit stagnant in your thoughts. Be proactive and put forth the effort to train your mind to think in a different direction. We use 10% of our brainpower.... Don’t waste it on self depleting thoughts.... You’re worth it!
It’s the only way out! Some days are harder than others and it takes more strength to pull the positive out of situations. But start micromanaging your thoughts. Be conscious of what you’re thinking. Make the effort every day to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. You got this!!!
So often we let our past traumas fester in our minds like tenants who don’t pay rent. Stacks and stacks of hurt all around you and you just sit there not even knowing where to begin..... So you don’t. But each morsel of hurt can actually serve a purpose. You have to learn to pick up each piece of hurt. Feel it, move it around in your hands and learn it. Find the lesson and tools in each one then toss it! Do this over and over with each piece of hurt. Allow yourself to feel it on a soul level. Turn it into positive energy that breathes life into you. Allow alllll the things to make you into a humble human that appreciates and values the smallest of good. Let it resonate. THEN, like a phoenix- YOU RISE.